I have been teaching at Menno Simons for more than a month and absolutely love it! The school is amazing. It is a place where the staff and parents work together as a team. All of my other practicums were in schools where it was next to impossible to get parent involvement. This last Friday was a day where our school spent the afternoon making bracelets that we are going to send to an African school. The parent volunteers that came out to help were amazing! We had parents in the school all week making examples and cutting string. On Friday the gym and classrooms were full of volunteers helping kids. Next week we go to camp with more parent volunteers and I am so excited. I love it this school!
One another note, this week has been a pretty tough one for me. I have been so busy lately. Our youth pastors took opportunities with other jobs this past summer and I am part of the team of youth leaders that are helping run the youth programming. I have been busy with planning lessons for school, going to meetings for youth and going to youth events on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. And then . . . I found myself volunteering for the kindergarten to grade 5 Sunday school class leading worship! What was I thinking???
This week was one when all this stuff hit me. I have been really emotional and stressed out and I feel like I am floating over my life. I am not really experiencing it because I don’t have the time to slow down and be part of what is going on. I was thinking the other day as I was driving home that I actually like to be busy. I like to be busy and be a part of things like youth and Sunday school because I feel useful and needed. I am scared that if I stop volunteering for things that I won’t be needed or even known to people. I will fade into the wallpaper of life and disappear. Depressing, I know.
I talked with a friend tonight about our youth pastors leaving and how this week was a particular tough one for her as well. She figured it could be us going through the stages of grief. I looked them up and the order goes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acception. With the whole youth pastor thing I know that I went through denial when I couldn’t believe what was happening, anger when I didn’t understand this was happening, bargaining when I hoped they would stay and something would be figured out, and now depression sets in. This week has probably been the first one when all of the youth stuff has slowed down and I have had a bit of time to feel. I found myself welling up with tears in the car when a song came on that spoke to my soul or when a friend would answer questions with short one-word answers or when everyone was busy. I felt like I wasn’t worth their time.
I am a person that longs for relationships that are true and meaningful. I pray for friends that spend time with me and want to really know me. To know the way I think and the way I feel. To know what makes me happy and what upsets me. To come to my house when they know I am having an off day to just give me a hug. I yearn for relationships with people where we can pray for each other without it being awkward. I want friends to support me in these busy times and can tell me to slow down and take time for myself. I need to remember that I do have people that care for me and weeks like this don’t happen all the time.
It’s been a tough week. One that I am still processing, but I know that I will feel better about life. I know that God will carry me through. Thank you to those of you that love me for me.


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